Ask any parent what they want for their kids and they will say some version of, “I want my kids to be happy.”
What they mean is, “I want my kids to live a more successful version of MY life.”
Weird, right? But true.
It’s hard for me to admit this, but when I really looked at how I was thinking about my daughter, I realized I was guilty of this.
Although we love our kids more than anything in this world and would take a bullet for them if necessary, we unconsciously try to make them Mini Me’s instead of respecting their uniqueness.
Sporty parents worry that their studious child isn’t “tough” enough.
Intellectual parents worry that their sporty child isn’t “serious” enough and won’t do well in school.
In my case, I was getting my little girl tons of dolls because I LOVED dolls when I was growing up. I was ignoring the fact that her reaction to receiving a doll was to unceremoniously chuck the doll over her shoulder and go build with blocks, paint, bang on our piano or just run around in panties like a maniac.
Sure, that preference might be developmental, but I need to be open and sensitive to the fact that it might just be her personality.
She could just be (gulp) different from me that way.
Except that like her, I also appreciate the joy of running around in panties like a maniac. Must be genetic.
When we try to change our kids, we use the excuses of wanting them to be well-rounded.
To our kids, it just feels like they aren’t good enough they way they are.
I don’t want to bum you out here or make you anxious about your parenting skills. With so many parenting authorities out there preying on the anxiety of busy, frazzled parents, you don’t need anyone else “shoulding on you.” I’m sure you are a good parent. After all, you’re reading this to make sure you aren’t missing out on any important ways to love your children. So, kudos to you, Love.
I’m just gently suggesting that it’s time to change the practice of making our kids over in our own image.
In this week’s video, we talk about the 3 things we REALLY want for our kids.
Now, I’d like to hear from you. What is the most important thing you want for your child(ren)? Let me know in the comments below.
If you liked this post, please SUBSCRIBE + SHARE it with someone who it can help. They’ll LOVE you for it!
Pssst! Steal my proven 3-step formula for attracting marriage-minded men HERE.