What do you do when you are ready for a real relationship and the man you’re interested in isn’t ready for the commitment?
Or if you’re already in a committed relationship, but he’s not ready to get married and you are?
When he tells you he’s not ready, there are 3 really important things to remember.
Stay Calm. You may be freaking out, but you need to take a deep breath and come back into your body. When you are in panic mode, you’re in a thick fog of fear. You can’t hear anything through it and you can’t see clearly. You will probably say things you’d regret later. Worse of all, you forget who you are – a Divine being who is infinitely valuable and worthy of Love. You start acting like someone else – a desperate, angry person who is afraid of not getting what she needs. Stay calm and remember who you are.
Ask If He Needs More Time. He might be on his way to making the same decision you have already made about moving forward with the relationship and you just got there sooner. It’s OK to ask, “Do you need more time?” If he says yes, ask how much time.
If he gives you a specific amount of time, use that time to focus on doing the things that make you happy – reconnect with the friends you’ve been too busy with your relationship to spend time seeing, pick up those hobbies you loved so much. Invest that time in focusing on YOUR happiness.
If he says the issue is time but he doesn’t know how much time he needs, it means he isn’t actually ready to move forward with you. Love, if you are serious about a more committed relationship and he doesn’t know when (or if) he’ll be ready for that, it’s time to move on.
Believe Him. Don’t make the mistake so many women make of thinking that you will dazzle him into recognizing your worth or that somehow he’ll change his mind. It’s not your job to try to convince someone of your worth. If you do that, your self-esteem and self-worth will take a huge hit that you will have a hard time recovering from.
Don’t think that you will learn to live with things as they are and you’ll somehow stop wanting what you want and need. You want what you want and it’s OK for you to want it. You deserve to have what makes you happy.
He’s being honest with you and telling you his truth. Believe him. If he tells you he isn’t ready for a real relationship or the next level of your relationship and you stay, you will be resentful and angry and blame him for wasting your time – even when it was YOUR decision to stay.
Know that somewhere there is a man who wants a woman with your exact qualities. Staying with someone who doesn’t recognize your worth keeps you from finding the one who does.
Please share this – you never know who might need to hear it.
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