Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I in a situationship?”

A situationship can feel like a relationship in the moment — you spend time together, you share intimacy, and sometimes there’s even affection — but when you zoom out, you realize there’s no clarity, no consistency, and no commitment.

And in your 40s? That lack of clarity hits differently. Your time, energy, and heart are more precious than ever, which makes it even harder when you realize you’ve been investing in something that isn’t moving forward.

What a Situationship Really Looks Like

Here are some of the most common hallmarks:

• He avoids talking about the future and says things like, “Let’s just deal with that when we get there.”

• Plans get made but rarely happen, or they’re always last-minute.

• You spend time together alone but never go on real dates.

• His friends and family haven’t met you — and he hasn’t met yours — even after months together.

• No matter how much time passes, the relationship doesn’t progress.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Why Women in Their 40s Stay in Situationships

Many of my clients share that they stayed in situationships because:

• The comfort of companionship felt better than being alone.

• Loneliness made it easier to settle for “something” rather than nothing.

• Scarcity fears whispered: “What if no one else comes along?”

• They were still recovering from a divorce or breakup and weren’t ready for something serious, but didn’t want to feel alone.

• They held onto hope that maybe, someday, it would turn into a real relationship.

The Hidden Shame Factor

One of the most painful parts of a situationship is the silence around it. Women often feel embarrassed to admit what’s happening, even to close friends.

They think:

• “I should know better by now.”

• “I know how I want to be treated — so why am I settling for crumbs disguised as affection?”

That silence creates isolation, and it keeps the cycle going.

The Good News

Being in a situationship doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you want love. And it’s actually a wake-up call. It’s a chance to heal the old patterns that attracted an unavailable partner and step into the love you truly deserve.

Watch the Full Conversation

I go into all of this and more in my IG Live replay:

Watch the full video on YouTube

Ready for the Next Step?

If you’re ready to release the old heartbreak energy that keeps you stuck in cycles like this, I created The Overnight Heartache Cure™ for you.

It’s an audio energy clearing program designed to help you heal while you rest or sleep — so you can finally clear out the residue of past relationships and make space for love that feels safe, secure, and lasting.

✨ Click here to learn more about The Overnight Heartache Cure™

And if you’d like more personal support, you can also book a free introductory session with me here.

XOXO,
Carisa