You know that it’s important to stay positive if you want to attract positive things (like Love) into your life.
But if your Love Life sucks at the moment, how are you supposed to stay positive about the idea of finding True Love?
You expect to have a rough patch of healing to do after a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, but what about when you’re just having lots of run-of-the-mill, average, sucky dating experiences?
When the guys you are attracted to aren’t asking you out…
When the guys who are attracted to you are NOT what you’re looking for at all…
When the guys who seem promising just sort of disappear after a few dates in a puff of smoke…
How do you keep yourself from becoming jaded, disappointed and bitter about Love when you aren’t having much success with dating?
Three things can help you turn this around and stay positive, so you can keep your momentum strong and bring in real love.
#1: Take a dating break.
When you have a hard time dating and have bad experiences, you develop new, deep-seated, negative beliefs about dating. Those beliefs start to drive your dating behavior. When you have negative beliefs driving the dating behavior, you get more negative results (or you interpret them negatively), which reinforce those beliefs even more.
Here’s what I mean:
Your last boyfriend Ted was always broke so you had to pay for a lot of your dates. While you were dating, you created a deep-down belief that “all guys are cheap”. After you broke up you kept attracting cheap guys, because of the deep-down belief you have that all guys are cheap. Every time you dated another cheap guy (who you had actually attracted with the deep-down belief), you reinforced your belief that all guys are cheap.
Take a break from the cycle! Come out of it, get some healing and clear out those negative beliefs about men, love, dating, relationships, etc. Then you can come back and get different results.
#2: During your dating break – do some healing work.
While you are taking your dating break, do some healing work around beliefs that were created from the pain of past relationships. My favorite tool for this is energy healing, because it allows beliefs to be shifted and healed so quickly, but use whatever healing modality helps you feel supported and get rid of negative beliefs that don’t help you anymore. But there are lots of things you can do on your own. You can listen to self-hypnosis recordings to help your subconscious beliefs shift. Try my Love Healing Meditation at www.carisamontooth.com/love-healing-meditation. You can read powerfully transformational books like You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay and actually IMPLEMENT what you learn into your life. Find something transformational that works for you and keep doing it until you see the big changes you want.
#3: Stay off of Facebook and Instagram for a while.
If seeing posts from friends about how (seemingly) perfect their Love Lives are then please remember that you are seeing a curated version of the lives your friends wish they had and want everyone to believe they have. Nobody takes pics of themselves picking up their husband’s dirty socks, puts a pretty filter on it and then posts it to Instagram. You are seeing the life that they WANT to have. So please don’t put too much into it. Take a social media break. 🙂
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